What is this thing called spiritual direction?

“ One beggar showing another beggar where to find bread” is an apt description of spiritual direction. In this ancient metaphor, we see the two essential qualities for being a spiritual director: attending to the Presence of God with one ear while simultaneously attending to another hungry soul with the other. (In this respect, spiritual direction differs from modern psychological counseling that usually has a more problem centered focus, though some people may be involved in both at times.)

The desire to find a spiritual guide needs to grow out of a deepening desire for companionship with God. Because so much of spiritual direction is “the art of holy listening” it’s essential that the guide and the seeker both spend time between and during meetings “listening with God”-which is a good definition of contemplative prayer.

Spiritual direction isn’t just talk. It is a holy conversation about finding and following the One who nurtures a hungry soul intent on seeking God in the everyday stuff of life.

In the relationship between the participants, there is responsibility. The director holds the other in prayer and listens with the “two fold ear,” listening to both God and the directee. There is never a sense of judgment nor a will to “fix” the other. The directee will be as open as they are able and listen with that same “two fold ear” to the director and to God, not only at the time of meeting, but in between times as well. This is a time of walking the Path together. Each must be willing to walk beside the other in companionship and to walk alone when it is time .

Are we a good match?

Always begin by praying: “What qualities do I desire in a spiritual companion?” What are my needs and hopes? Is gender a problem? Within my own tradition, or outside it? A guide should feel safe and non-biased.

When we meet, be open to the feelings of the Spirit. Does this feel right? Understand that both of us need to make sure that it is a right fit. If so, we will agree to a simple covenant. Usually, we will meet once a month. The monthly rhythm seems helpful so the relationship does not become too problem centered or co-dependant.

Spiritual direction has in the past, been a gift of the faith community. Today, with many people not a part of any church, or community, there is usually some form of minor compensation. A donation of between $25 to $40 is normal, but it should be as you can afford.

Michele Thomas

25 Orchard Terrace

Sodus, NY 14551

315.483.1433